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Caramel sauce + hot fudge

Are you smearing peanut butter on your hands?!? yelps my brother in the tone one might use if one came upon one’s sister dangling her bare feet over a snarling wood chipper.

It’s a sauce I made. I’m taking a photo for Scribbler, I reply.

EWW! He was the three-year-old who ordered the toys back onto the shelf in Marine Corps rows when adults took them down for playtime. He was the four-year-old who shed tears when spaghetti sauce bled into the salad, and refused to eat until served a fresh dish with inch-wide margins around each component.

My brother would never web his fingers with caramel sauce. My brother would never plunge his hands into piping hot fudge. My brother would never toss cookies and almond milk in a food processor just to see what might happen. If my brother were a proton, I would be an electron. If my brother were AC, I would be DC. If my brother were insulin, I would be glucagon.

I tossed oreos and almond milk in the food processor and found hot fudge. I tossed Speculoos cookies and cake batter fudge in the food processor and found caramel sauce. I have tiptoed tamely in the footsteps of many a vegan hot fudge and caramel sauce recipe and each time I was disappointed. My serendipitous cookie butter sauces won’t fool omni taste buds, but they are spoon-licking scrumptious on their own merit.

Throw caution to the winds. Throw cookies in food processors. Smother your fingers in sauce and glee.

Caramel sauce + hot fudge

Hot Fudge Cookie Butter

Pantry

  • 12 Oreo-like sandwich cookies
  • nondairy milk

Method

Combine the cookies with a splash of milk in the bowl of a food processor. Process until silky smooth, scraping down the sides occasionally. Add more milk to reach a spoonable consistency. As the machine heats up, the sauce will thin. Transfer to a jar and store in the fridge. Reheat to serve.

Caramel Sauce Cookie Butter

Pantry

  • 1 package Speculoos cookies or 7 ounces of any other crisp toffee flavored cookie
  • ½ a batch of cake batter fudge
  • nondairy milk

Method

Warm the fudge until it softens. Combine the softened fudge and cookies in the bowl of a food processor. Process until silky smooth, scraping down the sides occasionally. Add milk if necessary to reach a spoonable consistency. As the machine heats up, the fudge will melt and become fully incorporated with the sauce, giving it a sticky caramel texture. Transfer to a jar and store in the fridge. Reheat to serve.

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