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A little quiz
- For undisclosed subversive actions, you have been exiled to a desert island for the rest of your miserable days. You may bring a lifetime’s supply of one comestible (you will be secretly filmed by the producers of said comestible and become the oblivious star of an online reality television show/ infomercial). You choose:
- Peanut Butter—finally you can have a whole jar to yourself and plunge your hands in without guilt
- Tofu—the entire food pyramid in one gelatinous block
- Chocolate—one is never truly alone when one has chocolate, the angels of bliss fill the skies…uh oh, you’re already undergoing islohallucinosis
- You have been unanimously elected Grand Poobah of the Intergalactic Pretzel Society. Your first motion as G.P. is:
- A moratorium on all crispy salty snack foods not designated “pretzels” (according to IPS regulation #113).
- A constitutional amendment requiring every dish designated as “dessert” (according to IPS regulation #1652.c) to include minimum one pretzel-derived ingredient.
- An executive act declaring pretzels an essential food group and revising the IPS dietary recommendations accordingly.
- Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match! Which epicurean civil partnership is most likely to survive the next decade?
- Peanut Butter + Chocolate
- Chocolate + Pretzels
- Pretzels + Peanut Butter
If you answered any of the questions, this pie is for you.
Chocolate Peanut Butter Pretzel Pie
- 1 ½ cup pretzels
- 2 tablespoons oil
- 2 tablespoons nondairy milk
- 1 tablespoon maple syrup
- 1 tablespoon unsweetened cocoa powder
- 1 12 oz. package Mori-Nu silken firm tofu
- ½ cup smooth peanut butter
- 2/3 cup powdered sugar
- 1 tablespoon nondairy milk
- salt to taste
- 4-5 oz. package chocolate covered pretzels
Combine the pretzels, oil, 2 tablespoons nondairy milk, maple syrup, and cocoa powder in a food processor. Blend, adding more milk if necessary to reach a clumpy consistency. The crust shouldn’t be sticky but it should hold together well. Pat the crust into a pie tin, starting from the center and working your way up the sides. Chill the crust while you prepare the filling.
Wipe off the food processor blade and bowl (no need to thoroughly clean), then fill it with the tofu, peanut butter, sugar, and milk. Blend until silky smooth. Add salt to taste. Smooth the peanut butter filling into the crust. Scatter chocolate covered pretzel pieces over the filling, forming a broken shell over the pie.