There is a board on our Frigidaire (not a trademark Frigidaire but the word is too succulent to remain bound to a brand) on which we scribble questions when no one is looking.
- What are the different kinds of power?
- What does Santa want for Christmas?
- Who are you?
Answers materialize each morning, like the cereal bowl on the dawn-tickled countertop, evidence of a midnight snack.
The board currently:
Best childhood memory?
- Getting a Barbie Dreamhouse
- Strawberry and whipped cream waffle at the World’s Fair
I am waiting for sunrise to add my scribble:
Birthday parties. My calendar used to be peppered with parties. Our mothers coordinated to avoid double-scheduling. My birthday “twin” was ever so gracious, giving up our shared day for my fêting and belating his own jamboree until the next Saturday. Thank you L.
Best moment of a birthday party?
We slogged through our dirge of a birthday song, all the while calculating our chances of obtaining one of the immaculate frosted roses that languished around the scalloped edges of the bakery box cake. Scarab blue, cochineal red, yellow as roly poly blood (do not ask how I know)—the piped petals tasted chemically astringent. Architectural marvels of dye-laced buttercream, likely toxic in large doses, or at least causing autism and ADHD.
Mama did not allow me to serve inedible sculpture to my guests. She insisted on homemade. The kind of homemade that pours out of a box in a miasma of sugared dust. But she did allow me to lick the bowl. And the spatula. And the beaters. Cake batter was the first guest to the party, a welcome intrusion on my hours of spastic pacing, of window peeping, of outfit reconstructions.
In a rebellious twist, I created a homemade cake mix for this cake batter fudge, intertwining the nostalgias and paradoxes of childhood.
Cake Batter Fudge
A from scratch veganization of Chocolate, Chocolate, and More
- ½ cup sugar
- ¾ cup flour
- 2 tablespoons soy milk powder
- ¾ teaspoon baking powder
- ¼ teaspoon salt
- 1 cup powdered sugar
- ¼ cup vegan butter
- 2 tablespoons nondairy milk
- ¼ cup cocoa/cacao butter
Lightly butter a small dish (I used a 6-inch round). Add the cake mix ingredients to a food processor and process until finely powdered. Combine the cake mix, powdered sugar, butter, and nondairy milk and heat (in microwave or on stove top) until butter melts, stirring occasionally. Remove from heat and mix in the cocoa butter, stirring until fully incorporated (return to heat if necessary). Cover and let the fudge set, either on the counter or in the fridge.